HEY! We are in this show! This is our show! Come see this show! Every Thursday in February at 8pm at the Upstairs Gallery in Andersonville! COME SEE OUR SHOW!!!!!
Thursday- February 7, 14, 21, 28- 8pm, Free (Donations Accepted), BYOB
What better month to get your fill on Sweet Kisses than February?
Join us Thursdays to enjoy a totally romantic or platonic night of improv and fun. Each show features a new team and an Upstairs Gallery house team. We’d love to see you there!
THIS WEEK featuring ButtDog (Trolley) and Hunkz R Us
The Superbowl ain’t over until we say it’s over! Now lace up and watch this video! Because we have heart and you have heart and inspirational half time speech blah blah blah sports reference watch this video we made for the Superbowl.
Hey Miss Gym Class Teacher,
It’s so great that you teach hip hop at the gym but maybe the class description should say something like ‘Warning. This is not a typical dance cardio class—it’s more of a dance class like you’d find at a dance studio.’ And when you say that the class is meant for people of all levels, is it really all levels, or just for all levels of people who are really advanced at hip hop dancing?
And you look so freaking great in your baggie pants and baggie shirt, and your moves look like sexy liquid, but Miss Gym Class Teacher, I can’t see what you’re doing, so I have no idea how to replicate these moves (even if you gave me hours to learn, which you don’t…just two counts of eight.)
And speaking of baggy pants, can the course description say, “No need to wear your dad’s bike shorts and your Old Navy tank top. Just come in loose fitting clothing”…because somehow everyone else got the memo but me.
And when you break us off into two small groups at the end of class to ‘perform’ the routine for each other, just know that for those of us who were at the back of the class the whole time and could not see most of the moves (though who knows if that would have made a difference) this causes stress and anxiety and undoes much of the good that exercise is supposed to do.
It’s okay. You are phenomenal to watch. There are plenty of other classes for me to do. I am just so so so very ashamed.
The day is January 31, 2013. The time is mid afternoon, depending on your timezone. The Facebook like count is 147. That’s good. But it sure ain’t great.
SO HERE’S WHAT WE’RE GOING TO DO ABOUT IT.
For every 25 likes we get, we will release photos of ourselves from middle school. And I can promise you, we were both funny looking in middle school. So tell your friends to like us. And to sweeten the pot, we will write a Haiku about the first 5 people to share this status. THAT’S RIGHT. YOU COULD GET YOUR OWN DINNER WITH STU ORIGINAL HAIKU. A Dinner With Stu Haiku! It rhymes!!!! Poetry.
Also, if you have terrible photos of us from middle school that you would like us to release in this hostage picture situation, please email them to firstname.lastname@example.org. And like us at http://www.facebook.com/dinnerwithstu. And have a lovely rest of your day.
Amy Poehler will be releasing a book in 2014. I am so excited. Excited enough to share this open love letter to her with all of you. We should probably start thinking about changing the name of this blog to “Mal’s Blonde Lady Crushes” huh?
Hey old friend, what’s up? Congrats on the book deal. I’m really looking forward to reading it because like most people, I think you’re great. I’m not sure if you remember me, but I remember you. We first met when I was 12 years old and you were doing Upright Citizens Brigade on Comedy Central. I use the term “met” loosely because we’ve never actually “met.” But I still hope to someday be your friend and mentee for the following reasons:
- I think it’s really cool that you’ve slept with so many talented comedians with good hair. And by so many I really just mean Matt Besser and Will Arnett. Amy, I don’t know if it’s too soon, but maybe you could pass along my contact information to either Matt or Will? Because I also have an affinity for talented comedians with good hair? Like you do? Thanks.
- Whenever I am nervous I watch your Harvard Class Day speech. I think that all people in this world should watch that speech. It reminds me that I have surrounded myself with talented and supportive people and that if I mess up, I can blame it on them. I am nervous a lot and likely the reason why your speech has so many hits on YouTube. You’re welcome.
- How did you make such adorable ginger babies? Do you and Will both carry a recessive ginger gene? I hope that someday I find out that I carry a recessive ginger gene and have ginger babies just like yours.
- The first time I saw your Ask Amy series for young girls, I basically melted. It’s actually the inspiration behind Dinner With Stu’s Trust Us series. But your series is a lot more heartfelt and moving. Ours is kind of gross and mean. But one day when we’ve made it like you have, I imagine that we’ll start a website to help girls build self esteem because gosh wouldn’t that be great.
- You know how you and Tina met going through classes at iO? Well I met my favorite partner in comedy going through classes at iO too (yes, Jessica, I am talking about you). Someday I hope that someone writes an article about us like this article about you and Tina. I also hope that someday Jess gets a book deal and devotes an entire chapter of love letters to me, like Tina did for you, and then a few years later I get a book deal and write something similar for her. I think this is the proper order for book deals and love letters because if Jess were to get her own TV show I would imagine it to be a quirky mix of 30 Rock and This American Life and mine would be a gross yet empowering mix of Parks and Recreation and Girls. Plus Jess is dark like Tina and I am fair like you. Don’t you see the similarities!!! Also we have grand plans to be interviewed by Vanity Fair and host the Emmy’s together. Like you and Tina. OBVS.
So, Amy. That’s it. I love you. I think you’re the best. I can’t wait to read your book. I’m sorry that I’m interested in your sloppy seconds… I hope you’re not mad. Call me.
Dinner With Stu got a brief shout out from our friends at Slights of the Roundtable this week! Apparently they need interns. And since women are good at things like coffee and keeping track of things, they think Dinner With Stu would be a good fit. Hey guess what nerds? I just learned how to make coffee a month ago. And Jess lost every single pair of gloves she owns this week. We suck at coffee and can’t keep track of shit. WE. ARE. WOMEN!!!!!!
Seriously though, readers. Listen to these guys. They’re sometimes funny, frequently entertaining, and always good for your self esteem.
Episode 92: Sound Effect Stew
Dial up your Tindr to hear conversation veer from mullets to “hipsters” to bangs to how your dad used to dress when you were born to Neanderthals. But wait, that’s not all! When you hit “play” you’ll also get these great new storylines: Jimmie’s dying from a new affliction. Michael is mindlessly eating on air. And Matt is flinging Zingers as if they were Twinkies. Now start listening so you can say this was your thing before two other people start saying the same.
(We had a conversation. Our friends at Conversations With Women graciously posted it. You should all follow Conversations With Women cause it’s fucking awesome.)
Friend: OH MY GOD
me: what happened
Friend: i am going on a date tonight
Friend: i just googled him
the first result
Friend: IS HIS ARREST RECORD
me: WHAT WHAT WHAT
Friend: (link to arrest record)
me: false ID! WTF
Friend: WHO GIVES A FAKE ID TO THE COPS
We have exclusive footage of Katherine Webb and Dee Dee Bonner! ONLY ON DINNER WITH STU! They are the sexiest sports fans alive.
Sweet Kisses will be performing TONIGHT! At the Upstairs Gallery! 5219 N. Clark St! Opening for the tall and talented duo that is Nnamdi Ngwe and Tyler Parker! 10:30pm! BYOB! Donations accepted but otherwise free! Lots of laughs! Lots of kisses! Lots of fun! COME ON!!!! WE WILL BE THERE WITH JOKES AND KISSES!
It’s 2013 and you are still in need of our unprofessional opinion. So here’s our latest installment of Trust Us. Just cause, you know, it’s only Friday morning, and maybe watching this will help you prevent a weekend of regrets.